The Power Within You

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I’ve heard it said so many times … “life is tough”, “life is an uphill battle”, “life is such a struggle”.

Why is it that so many people feel aggrieved about the quality of their life? Surely that’s not how life on earth was intended to be?

What’s going on here?

If you are someone who is finding life to be a daily grind, or you know of someone who feels that way then I would like to offer you some thoughts on how to come to terms with and deal with this debilitating feeling.

[box type=\”shadow\”]“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

– Marcus Aurelius[/box]

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The Power Within You (continued)

 

Measuring up: The danger of comparisons

One of the the practices that can make life seem incredibly demanding and unfair is constant comparison with others.

Most of us, at some point in our lives, get caught in the comparison trap. Some of us spend our entire lives comparing. Unfortunately, those who indulge don’t have far to look for someone who appears to be more wealthy, have a more exciting life, look fitter, thinner, younger or more attractive, speak with more authority or have more friends.

Occasional comparison can be healthy when it involves role modelling. It can bring out the best in us and egg us on to greater heights. Nowhere is that more relevant than on the sportfields.

But constant comparison with people so far removed from our reality, like the celebrities, rockstars, supermodels and billionaire businessmen and women that we are exposed to every day in the media can leave us feeling not very special and even downright inferior.

Even comparison with friends and colleagues can become toxic when it stirs up a perpetual feeling of envy for something we perceive them to have that we don’t.

The solution lies in the mind. To quote from the later Dr Wayne Dyer: “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change”.

Instead of focusing on what others have that you think you want, focus on what you have that you are happy with. Direct the frustration and anger you feel about what the other appears to have that you don’t into using what you have to best effect!

Seeking significance and meaning

In my corporate life, when I first arrived from Cape Town to work at my corporation’s London headquarters, I experienced a serious loss of individuality.

My journey to work and back involved spending between three and four hours a day driving, on a train, negotiating the underground and finally walking, each part of the journey surrounded by what seemed like thousands of other ‘worker ants’ all dressed in grey and black with their heads down, wearing expressionless faces.

At first I found it quite frightening and demeaning. Excited as I was about my new job I couldn’t help feeling that I was just one of thousands, millions of others, going through the same routine, day in day out … and in service of what? It started to get me down … that is until I decided to change my perspective.

I chose to see significance as being a feeling that comes from within, rather than something you need to display to the world.

As I sat on the train looking at the many people making their way to work I started to think, not so much about how similar everyone looked on the outside but about the huge diversity of qualities and personalities that the group represented. I reflected on what would happen if everyone in the carriage were to be faced with some challenge. What qualities could I rely on to contribute to the group.

Slowly but surely I turned from feeling insignificant to feeling significant among many others of significance and my journeys into London and back became more satisfying.

Attitude to challenges: Shrink away or rise to meet?

There’s no question that life is challenging … but that doesn’t have to mean that life is a struggle, unfair or inhumane.

Challenges pop up at regular intervals in everyone’s life. Some are more severe than others but all of them represent either  opportunities to change path or opportunities to to learn, grow and develop. Ultimately (though not always immediately) they represent opportunities to become happier and more content.

Very often, if you are drifting too far from the path that is your purpose in life (and most of us in today’s world have become disconnected with our purpose), you will be presented with a challenge that aims to nudge you in the right direction.

Where does such a challenge come from?

Well it depends on your belief system but I believe there is an energy connection between your inner being (your core, that knows exactly why you are here) and the energy of the universe, your creator or your source (depending on how you prefer to see it) that manifests the challenge, or the specific set of circumstances that you are confronted with.

Other challenges arise from our day-to-day interactions with the external world. They may seem more random but they are nevertheless still opportunities to change path or to grow and develop.

It takes some practice but when you are next confronted with a challenge try thinking “What opportunity am I being presented with here or what change am I being prompted to consider.” You will find this infinitely more empowering than getting despondent, angry or bitter about what may appear to be just more bad luck!

Replacing resentment with gratitude

When you live resenting your situation, what you have or don’t have or the fact that others seems to have more than you, you naturally attract similarly low vibration people, events and circumstances into your life. That’s why resentment can easily give way to feelings of hopelessness.

However, when you practice being grateful for who you are and what you have, you naturally attract higher vibrational people and circumstances and this can easily translate into a more hopeful, accepting and meaningful way of life.

Again, it takes some practice to undo the habitual ‘poor me, what did I do to deserve this’ mindset but next time you feel yourself slipping into this mode focus on what you have to be grateful for and see how much better it makes you feel.

In closing I offer you a Quero Apache Prayer:

“Looking behind, I am filled with gratitude, looking forward, I am filled with vision, looking upwards I am filled with strength, looking within, I discover peace.”
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14 thoughts on “The Power Within You”

  1. Hi Bill love your way of thinking works incredibly well and definitely worth the effort to try and improve the way you feel over the current economic climate and your own personal life. Live and think positively it mazes me the change experienced thank you

  2. Nkosikhona Sibanda

    Thank you very much Bill. Feeling sorry for yourself is an easy place to go to. To want people to feel sorry for you becomes an escape route. But the BEST place to go is to look deep and truthfully inside yourself and find every bit of strength to move in the positive direction. I love your posts and I look forward to them every week. Keep up the good work. Very inspirational.

  3. henry w arendse

    Hi Bill, thank you for this very inspiring blog. I concur wholeheartedly with the view that “one is as strong on the outside as you are on the inside.” It is the power within us that produces what we reveal and become on the outside.

    I love how you subtly interweave the coaching principles and skills into your articles. Thank you for demonstrating the dynamic life changing power of coaching in the course of our everyday life.

  4. What an inspiring piece of writing, Bill. Thank you. I particularly like your reference to the late Dr Wayne Dyer’s words. He is my favourite author.

    Your concluding prayer is extremely profound.

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