One of the questions most frequently asked by those keen to consider life coaching as a career is \”What does it take?\”
My answer is always the same. You simply need to have integrity, a real desire – I call it a passion – for working with people, a willingness to learn and an open mind.
It\’s the \’open mind\’ part of my stock answer that I suspect gets taken less seriously by aspirant life coaches than the other parts … but it is crucially important.
[box type=\”shadow\”]\”When I read a script, I try not to judge the characters. I try to have an open mind and really see what it makes me feel.\”
– Penelope Cruz[/box]
Keep an Open Mind (Continued)
Hungering for something different
I started my working life in the construction industry, as a civil engineer. Six years later, hungering for something different, I moved into the second phase of a corporate career that started in sales, evolved into marketing, then programme management and IT, before ending in communications.
On reflecting back, the jobs I loved most were those that afforded me the opportunity to have a positive effect on the lives of others.
My life\’s purpose
It took a while to dawn on me that my life\’s purpose had to do with inspiring other people. But when it did, it suddenly became obvious to me why I had felt this rather uncomfortable need to leave the engineering business so soon after graduating from university.
Being a great engineer requires understanding, appreciating – and the capacity to apply – various proven and immutable laws and principles of physics and materials science.
Try and construct a concrete bridge without knowing anything about how to calculate the reaction to applied forces, or how the end strength of concrete is linked to the water/cement ratio, and you\’re likely to end up with a disaster.
Predictability vs unpredictability
Many professions require an understanding of – and strict adherence to – principles, systems and processes that have been proven over time to work in achieving certain desired outcomes.
In such careers, a certain input virtually guarantees a certain output. If the correct process is properly followed the right outcome will result. There exists a certain predictability.
When the central focus of my work shifted from inanimate objects to people, my life changed dramatically, precisely because of the relative unpredictability involved in my new line of work.
The behaviour of cast concrete can be closely predicted based on the ingredients, the mix ratios, the setting time and the ambient temperature. On the other hand, the behaviour of two people put into similar situations, for example being asked to cross a busy road during rush hour, is completely unpredictable.
Never before and never again
Every single one of us is completely unique, with a DNA makeup that has never before existed and never will exist again on this earth.
Quite apart from that, we each lead very different lives, exposed, as we are, to a rich and unique tapestry of different events and experiences that help to shape and define our thoughts, beliefs and values.
Reality is a relative concept
This explains why reality is a relative and not an absolute concept. Your reality – the way you see yourself and the world around you – is not and never will be my reality.
Through your upbringing, education, experiences and the outcomes of those experiences, you develop what I call a \’map of the world\’ – an understanding of how the world operates and how you fit into it.
Each and every person\’s \’map\’ is as unique as their DNA.
The importance of an open mind
This is why it is so vitally important for anyone considering becoming a life coach to have an open mind.
You can only truly empower another person to grow, develop and flourish, if you have the ability to glimpse life from their perspective – to enter their map of the world!
To do so you need a mind that is open to contemplating different views and considering different approaches to life.
You need the flexibility to accept that different people have different dreams, ambitions and motives.
You need the compassion to judge others, not on how closely their values and beliefs match with your own but on the effort they put in to living to their own true potential.
Less threatening, more uplifting
A closed mind and inflexible attitude makes other people that do not fit your accepted mould seem irritating and even threatening.
On the other hand, an open mind and a flexible attitude will make the people in your world will seem both wonderfully fascinating and uplifting.
A profund and deeply engaging message, Bill. To the need for an open mind and the need to be flexible, I would add the need to patiently accept and respect those who are different from ourselves.
Thanks Karen – a great point!
Having an open mind allows us also to experience life at a different level. I know from personal experience. Part of my coaching practice is to coach those who have offended or at risk of offending. Some of their stories leading up to their offences would make most peoples hair curl! and I am am not condoning it by any means.
Someone once asked me with disinterest how could I possibly coach people like that! my answer is simple Bill. Having an open mind and being compassionate enough to walk in their shoes with them often gives them the time they need to look into their own behaviors and reasons why. Including lack of self belief.
I have many genuine success stories to show for all my efforts. Having an open mind has led me into a private world where I have been fortunate enough to share individuals darkest moments. Once in there I have been able to bring some positive light .
How lucky I am.