Random Acts of Kindness

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At a specific stage in the New Insights life coaching process coaches will introduce their clients to the concept of RAK – or random acts of kindness.

These are selfless and spontaneous acts and gestures that brighten the day for others. They generally require very little effort but the joy and happiness they create can be disproportionately large.

I would go as far as to say that random acts of kindness can have a magical effect thanks to their unexpected and caring nature.
[box type=\”shadow\”]“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

– Leo Buscaglia[/box]

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Random Acts of Kindness (continued)

 

A trifle offended

When I was first introduced to the idea of performing random acts of kindness by my personal life coach, I have to admit that I felt a trifle offended.

I reasoned that I was already a kind person. I gave money to charity every month. I provided for my family’s needs as generously as I could, and so on and so on. Why did my coach feel that I needed to do more?

Missing the point

I had totally missed the point.

RAK, as I was to find out, is about ‘living in the now’, being spontaneous, spreading a little joy, connecting with others and, frankly, having a bit of fun! It’s not something you have to plan. You just do it when the situation arises.

It took me a bit of practice to get into the groove of RAK – and I still have to remind myself to keep in the habit. Though the acts themselves are essentially selfless in nature, the amazing thing is that they leave me feeling great too!

Everyone benefits

For some people like me, getting used to performing random acts of kindness requires a bit of conscious effort. For others it comes far more naturally. In every case, though both recipients and instigators benefit from the experience. And I would argue that because we are all connected, we all benefit indirectly!

The young man and the conductor

A few months ago my son, Casey, went to go and visit his girlfriend, a journey that involved a 40 minute train ride each way. When I collected him from our local station later that evening he was smiling rather more broadly than usual!

He recounted to me how, on boarding the train for the return journey, he checked his pockets to find that the return ticket, that he had bought that morning, was missing.

When the conductor came around Casey apologised profusely explaining that he had no intent to try and get a free ride and that the ticket must have fallen out of his pocket at some stage in the day.

The conductor told him not to worry as he could purchase a new ticket from her. Unfortunately though, he had spent the last of his money buying his girlfriend coffee!

We’ve heard many stories of how young people have been detained at the next station for failing to produce a ticket or pay for one on the train, so when he told me what happened next I had to laugh.

The conductor, who had had a pretty rough day dealing with many rude and abusive passengers, told Casey that it was a rare pleasure to deal with a polite and remorseful young man like him and because of that she would help out by paying for his return ticket.

Restoring our faith

That’s a great example of a random act of kindness. It certainly brightened up Casey’s trip and hopefully it made the conductor feel good – but more than that it restored a little faith in our fellow humans (not to mention the rail service) for me and all the people I told the story to!

Turning the tables on convention

Random acts of kindness are powerful because the turn the tables on convention.

The competitive world we live in can feel all too dog-eat-dog like at times. We’ve become accustomed to a certain degree of selfishness as we look to ascertain “What’s in it for me?” in every situation.

When you become used to performing random acts of kindness you begin to look at situations in a different light. Cooperation, not competition, becomes the issue and the question turns to “How can I add a little joy to someone else’s day?

21 simple ideas

As my random act of kindness for today I’d like share twenty-one simple ideas that you can employ as your own random acts of kindness

1. Tell the cashier at your local store how beautiful – or handsome – they look today. This is my wife’s favourite and she always gets a warm smile when she pops in for bread and milk.

2. Help an elderly person cross the road.

3. Smile at a passer by.

4. Listen really intently when next someone tells you something about themselves.

5. Gift a friend a book that you have already read.

6. Stop and talk to a homeless person.

7. Donate your old cellphone or laptop to someone less fortunate.

8. Hug someone who will appreciate it.

9. Compliment someone in front of others.

10. Give up your seat to someone on the bus or train.

11. Wash your neighbour’s car.

12. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

13. Show patience when you would normally be impatient.

14. Offer your umbrella to someone else in a sudden downpour.

15. Buy a drink for a stranger in a bar.

16. Buy a hot cup of coffee for the local security guard.

17. Put a couple of coins in a run down parking meter.

18. Adopt a rescue pet.

19. Offer the daily paper you have finished reading to someone else.

20. Every time you buy a new item of clothing, give away an old one.

21. Write a thank you message to someone who has meant a lot to you.

Making the world a better place

Random acts of kindness can take so many different forms but they always have the same effect – spreading a little more joy and happiness and making the person who performs the act feel good in the process.

If, from hereon out, each one of us decides to make a difference with random acts of kindness the world will be a much friendlier and happier place.

If you’re not already doing it, I hope you’ll give it a try.

Either way, please do let me know your own ideas and experiences by commenting below.

 

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13 thoughts on “Random Acts of Kindness”

  1. I make an effort every day to practice RAK, from telling the cashier how pretty she looks to complimenting someone on how beautiful I think they are. One particular incident though stands out. I offered to pay for a lady’s parking ticket as she fumbled in her bag for change. She refused point blank to take the money, saying thank you all the same, and proceeded back into the shopping centre to go and get change. I was pretty amused by the incident. I made sure the next time I offered someone change they accepted my help gracefully and it made me smile.

    1. Thanks for the real live example Karen! I’m sure the lady’s response was honourable, probably tinged with embarrassment 🙂

  2. Henry W Arendse

    Hi Bill, this blogg is very inspirational. Just imagine what a great place our world would be if we all become consciously caring by practicing RAK on a daily basis. To give or do random acts of kindness just to ease our conscience would be a futile exercise. But to show acts of kindness because we really care will bring a personal sense of joy and contentment. If we sow a seed of kindness, we will reap the benefits of our seed. This simply emphasises the principle of sowing and reaping.

    Kind Regards
    Henry

      1. I must agree with Henry i live in a Province where people are to caught up in they own ways that they forget that a RAK can make the world a better place. I normally try to at least meet one new person everytime i go out and then the only words to that guy is just to pay it forward. If everyone can be friendly what great place we will find ourselves in

        Regards
        Andre

  3. Seamus Gallagher

    What a co-incidence. I got a Thank you email this morning from the daughter of a woman whose car broke down yesterday at our school, where she was collecting her two grand-children. I did not know her as she is new to our area. I tried to start the car but it would not work so I took the grandmother and children home. The grand mother had very little english but her two grandchildren helped with our communication. I left my business card, I am a Life Coach, with them.
    I was delighted to help and didn’t expect the email this morning.

    Keep up the great messages. I read them every week and find them really inspirational. I have used them in my coaching practice. God Bless. Seamus

  4. Just reading this makes me feel better – how much better I feel when I do a RAK but I am a little ashamed to say that I don’t do this enough.

    Thanks for the reminder Bill and I am going to make it part of my conscious daily life.

  5. What an inspiring topic, Bill! It captures the essence of being human, doesn’t it? What struck me most, was the point about us all being connected. If we all want the world to be a better place in which to live, then the secret lies in treating others in the same way in which we would like to be treated – with respect, kindness, compassion and love. And when those qualities take us by surprise (as with your son’s experience of the unexpected generosity of the conductor), they are that much more meaningful and mutually beneficially.

  6. Hi Bill. I had such a lovely experience of this the other day. I was in a queue at Spar and the lady at the till didn’t have enough cash to pay for what she wanted. I paid in the difference and then headed to a jeweller to get a clasp replaced on a Medic Alert bracelet. I was told it would cost R500 which is a crazy amount but i had to do it so i went ahead. When i collected it half an hour later, i was told there was no charge. It was such a feeling of being part of something so much greater than the tiny act of kindness i had done.

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